Serenity
by Curlybear
Summary: Takes place after Home. Overwhelmed by the exhausting day, Sam and Dean actually talk about their encounter with their Mom. Brotherly fluff! Gen. Oneshot.


Hello again:) This is another one-shot, set right after Home, with brotherly fluff. I wrote this a while ago, but I did not dare put it up before now, for some reason. I hope you enjoy it and please leave a review. They are so appreciated. Thank you so much!

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**Serenity**

Sam stared inquisitively at his brother, trying to find something in those piercing green eyes. He could definitely see something, a trace of soft emotion, but could not quite interpret it.

Hell, he couldn't even figure out his own emotions that were mercilessly colliding within him. His brother couldn't do it for him either, which he usually indubitably did. Dean could practically heal him, inside-out, but this time, it was different, and harder.

They had just seen their own mother, as a ghost. Still, it felt so real, as if she had been alive.

Sam had only seen her on old photographs. He never had a vivid image of her. In the flesh, eye to eye, everything became so much different. He never thought that she was _that _perfect. Her golden coils of hair flowed down her shoulders, and her eyes, they were exactly like Dean's: entrancing and captivating. Her aura was unexplainably serene and pure. She was... just beautiful.

And just like that night 22 years ago, she had saved him, sacrificing herself, and her last attachment to this world, without questioning her choice for one second. Sam felt extremely overwhelmed. And he knew Dean was sharing the exact same feeling. They were tired, (a bit, according to Dean) emotional, and _overwhelmed._ Being at their childhood home was much heavier than they thought. It revived so much within them, things they would rather forget. The past surrounded them like a haunting corona, consuming them.

Outside, the clouds were gathering, darkening the sky with a strange mournfulness. Sam deepened his stare, as his brother sat down on the bed opposite him. His gaze was piercing the floor pensively.

"Hey, Dean, are you okay?"

Dean finally looked up. His eyes were shiny, revealing to Sam that he was more worked up about this than he assumed. But that look only lasted for a flickering moment, because, as usual, Dean immediately toughened up, pushing back everything inside and hardening his gaze.

"Yeah, Sam... I'm okay. I just want to hit the sack." Dean admitted, as casually as he could muster. Sam gently nodded his head.

Then it just came out.

"She was so beautiful." Sam whispered. Dean remained silent, but met Sam's gaze, clear curiosity streaming through him.

"I never thought I would see her, ever." Sam began, quietly.

"Sam..."

"But I did. And I'm grateful for that." He cut in, gently. Sam slowly shifted, and sat beside Dean.

"Me too..." Dean said, with a low and hoarse voice. Dean was losing his battle of sustaining his barriers, and Sam could see the hurt and fatigue in all of him.

"Dean..."

"I don't need this." Dean interrupted.

"Hey, it's okay." Sam said, comfortingly. His voice was soft and careful.

"Sam, _don't_ go all doctor Phil on me." Dean warned.

"Dean..." Sam said, slightly annoyed. His brother was testing his patience. Dean sighed, probably catching Sam's tone. No bullshit this time.

"I'm just..."

"Overwhelmed?" Sam finished for him cleanly.

"Yeah... But it's not just because of Mom." He admitted. Sam wasn't quite sure what else was going through Dean's mind. His brother really had not said much since they left Lawrence.

"Then, what else is there?" Sam asked, carefully.

"Nothing..." Dean clarified, quickly. Sam was sure as hell not going to buy that.

"Come on, Dean. Tell me." Sam urged, flashing his brother a begging look. Perhaps if he gave him the look. That usually did the trick.

"I had to save your ass, twice." Dean finally admitted, albeit stiffly. Sam quickly understood. Anger and annoyance was just a way of masking Dean's concern.

"You're... worried?"

"Yeah, I am." Dean said, angrily. Sam smiled appreciatively.

"It's okay." Sam whispered, gently. Dean exhaled shakily. Sam realized that Dean was opening up to him, which was a rarity in itself. He assumed it had something to do with their mother appearing before them. She had probably touched a spot deep in his heart.

"I don't want anything to happen to you, you know? But something always does... And I was lucky today, but... Hell, I still screwed up. And what if next time-"

"Dean, it wasn't you're fault." Sam interrupted abruptly. He was not surprised that Dean blamed himself. He had always felt responsible for Sam's safety ever since they were kids, and Sam couldn't say anything to make him think otherwise. Dean averted his gaze, swallowed by his own stuck emotions. Sam looked through him, reaching for him.

"I think I know where you get your unselfish, protective quality from." Sam whispered. The words just automatically came out, because at that moment, Dean's rare display of vulnerability revealed all his strengths to Sam. He could see them, so clearly. He knew them.

"What?" He asked, quietly.

"Mom... You two are so alike." Sam said, releasing a small laugh. Dean finally raised his head, and the look he gave Sam was indescribable. It looked as if he appreciated the comment, but that he didn't quite believe it or accept it. He slowly shook his head, a soft smirk forming on his lips.

"No way... You're the most alike, I can promise you that." Dean said, with a clear certainty. Sam was taken aback by that... He had always believed that Dean possessed most of her qualities and features, and he knew that their father agreed, although his brother did have his father's attitude, his broad display of masculinity, his cockiness, and smile. Dean seemed to notice his look of confusion.

"Yeah... You want to know why?" Dean asked. Sam simply stared at him firmly and openly. He couldn't quite react.

"She was special. She had an affect on people, you know? Made you feel... complete, like you belonged." He said, his smile never vanishing... He looked proud. Sam was at a loss for words. It was probably the nicest indirect compliment he had received from his brother. He could see the respect that he had for their mother, and Sam felt every word touch his heart.

"Dean..." He whispered, gratitude swimming through him.

"Yeah, that was a huge chick-flick moment, huh?" He said, a half-embarrassed, half-disgusted look crossing his features.

"Yeah, but still... Thanks, Dean." Sam wasn't thanking him for how he compared him to their mother; he was thanking him for opening up a little, for helping him erase the uncertainty he had felt and gain more understanding. He had given him a piece of himself, and of Mary.

Dean just smiled. It was only then that Sam noticed how tired Dean looked. He was carrying a visible weight. Sam was probably wearing the same image. He sure felt exhausted.

"Let's get some rest. We've had an intense night." Sam suggested.

Later that night, after they had turned off the lights, and were resting in their uncomfortable beds, Sam heard Dean shift his position several times. Brushing that aside, Sam drifted off, staring intently at the empty ceiling. There were no sounds. He could only hear the wind howl softly as it danced across the inky sky. Strangely enough, he was enveloped with a feeling of serenity, instead of a nightmarish weight.

"Sam?" Dean suddenly asked, quietly, but loud enough to startle Sam.

"Yeah?" Sam responded.

"I just thought of something... There's one thing that I share with Mom." He slowly blurted out. Curious, Sam shifted so that he was facing his brother. Maybe he could somehow look through his green eyes.

"What's that?" Sam said, not surprised. He and Mary shared many similarities, Sam knew that. He just did not know how Dean compared himself with her, but he could form a few things in his mind.

"I'll always look out for you... no matter how annoying you're ass gets." Dean said, his voice surprisingly soft and warm, but still held that typical Dean-tone.

Sam was not expecting that confession. But he believed his brother. It was both admirable and intimidating, knowing that Dean would most likely jump in front of a train for Sam. But... they were so brave; Dean, his family, those words... They meant the world to him, despite how fucked up their lives were... He believed him. Dean must have heard, seen and felt Sam's smile.

"I know..." Sam whispered.

And that night, Sam fell into a calm sleep, dreaming about his mother's serene face.

**The End**


End file.
